“In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight!
Let those who worship evil’s might,
beware my movie.. Green Lantern sucked!”

Okay, so that last line wasn’t really part of the Green Lantern mantra. Let me start this review by saying that there is no spoiler alert because you already saw everything in the trailer. This is more of a rant on how film makers can destroy a idea that fans have in their head about a comic turned movie character.

The Characters:
-Ryan Reynolds did a great job as Van Wilder and did it again in Green Lantern… playing Van Wilder, not doing a great job… but something was lacking.
-Blake Lively was good as well, not too bad to look at and was given a character that was really explored enough… but something was lacking.
-Peter Sarsgaard could have a good pre villain, had you actually had the time to feel that he was obsessed with Lively, hated Jordan and was angry with his father. The director pretty much told you that in one line so he could move on to something else… something was lacking.
-Mark Strong as Sinestro might have been the best part of this film. He played a character that I would have pictured in my head… but something was lacking.

The rest of the cast was very flat and not memorable at all. Tim Robbins and Angela Bassett are both good actors, but I can’t quote anything that they had said and really remember what their purpose was in this film… Wait… uh, when Bogs says “I can be a friend to you”… shit, wrong movie.

The Special Effects:
-Green suit that is built on energy, that makes sense and it looks good knowing that. Tell me this… how does energy tear when he is in a fight? Right, it shouldn’t, but it does in this mess.
-Hals eyes weren’t white long enough to look cool.
-The fighter drones at the beginning were right out of Stargate.

vs.
I can’t find the Saber Drone image at this time. but it looks like the F-302 with an arrowhead shape.
It’s sad that I saw something and immediately connected it to Stargate, I didn’t think that was going to happen a second time in this movie…
- The Lab: The lab was the remains of the Stargate set, it had to be! Maybe while the series was closing down, the GL production team moved in and said “While you’re hear, can we film a few scenes?”

vs.

The Rant:
When you, the filmmaker are compelled to make a movie version of a comic book, think real hard about the territory you are entering. There is something known as comic book canon, while is the more or less the gospel of geek. Bill Finger wrote Green Lantern in the 1940′s and there have been plenty of stories that have only giving this creation justice. Knowing that, why hire a team of ADD screen writers? Why not use the story that was written as the screenplay? Sure the dialog doesn’t work, but shitty dialog worked for George Lucas for 34 years. The fact of the matter is, the story has been written and the scenes were already envisioned. Go with that! You’ll make friends of fans and they will love you for not thinking of them as being retarded. Or is it the ADD director? The story was all over the place or even miss cut, I don’t know and I don’t want to spend that much time giving it any more thought.

As GL fans know, the mantra is spoken when all else has failed. The use of the mantra in the film was about 30 minutes before he really could have used it. He might as well have used it to open a beer.

“Hey babe, you want me to open that for you?”
“Sure”
“In brightest day, in blackest night…”
[SCENE]

You were introduced to characters, but you were never emotionally involved with them. The viewer is raped of a $9 ticket and forced to watch the video taken of that rape. Too harsh?

How about this one:
Parallax didn’t give Green Lantern half the beating the critics have.

My rating? 1 of 5 Tators, save it for TV

AP has become a little stagnant over the years and my goal is to freshen things up a bit over the next few weeks. I will be updating links and adding a few new bells and whistles.

I tweeted a few weeks saying that Assimilated Podcast will be returning. I have not been untruthful, just a bit delayed on time. New shows will be back shortly.

In the meantime, please let me know what you would like to see that has been forgotten or left out over the past few years.

-Hatter

I hope to have things under control in the next few weeks and we can get this site moving a bit quicker. In the meantime, drop us a phone call by clicking the link to the left. Also be sure to listen to some of the classic podcasts that we’ve recorded over the last two years.

-Sherlock Holmes on his lack of knowledge of the Solar System- (From the first story, A Study in Scarlet)

The movie was not even close to being this clever.

Уметь слушать тишину – значит быть способным услышать бесконечность, как говорил Моцарт, на вашем сайте тишину не послушаешь, но много …

which translates to:

To know how to listen to silence – means to be capable of hearing infinity, as Mozart spoke, silence you will not listen to on your site, but it is much…

Great, thanks! You’re still spam though. Maybe their saying that my lack of posts is music to their ears… In that case… F’ off!

Sorry for the lapse in updates. I’m still busy with work and school and trying to make time for my own projects… like AP and random Arduino projects that have been swimming around my brain.

I’ll be back posting shortly and new podcasts will resume in 2 weeks.

Great Job!

from cnn.com So NASA says it’s a success that they managed to shoot something at the Moon and hit it? $79 Million to claim success on crashing a rocket… to see if there is water… on the Moon. Wasn’t it already discovered that the moon was just a big ball of ash?

But immediate NASA images of the crash produced no sign of the plumes, which were expected to rise six kilometers from the moon’s surface, said John Marmie, LCROSS deputy project manager.

“Everyone was like, ‘What’s happening here?’ ” Marmie said. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t have good data there.”

Marmie sounds like a stoner to me. I hope the next mission will be “What space tastes like”